Yoda's Journey

Has it been over a year since I posted on my blog. This brings up many questions.

Have I been living life so full there was no time for blogging?
But, what about all those wasted minutes in the last year?
Or, was I not living life but just avoiding contact.
God forbid my life is so boring that there was nothing to write.
Actually I am living in interesting times.

Best lesson learned is how to be happy with myself.

The superstition is if you find a penny heads up, you will have good luck. While walking through the parking lot of Home Depot, I spotted a penny on the ground. Unfortunately it was tails up. A sane person would just keep walking. Over the years, I have developed the habit of picking the "tails side" pennies up and placing them "heads" up to give good luck to someone else. As I bent down to get this soon to become a "lucky" penny, I noticed a day worker sitting on the curb. I picked the penny up, flipped it over, placed it on the curb and said "This is for good luck". He smiled. I felt good. Now I don't know if he knows about the good luck I was giving him. I guess I assumed he knew the (I hate to use this word) superstition. I am sure he is having good luck. I encourage everyone to flip "tails side" pennies. Keep the "heads up" pennies for their good luck!

My brother recently had his first child. We don't usually get to see and hear the excitement of birth. This time I observed it in a whole new dimension. The Sparkler would call every day to find out if she had a new cousin. If you called her, the first words were, "Do I have a new cousin?" All this before you could have a mundane conversation about something like winning the Lotto.

My 83 year old mother, who won't be 83 until Friday and would correct me that she is still 82, was giddy when discussing the birth. This woman has five other grandchildren spread over 29 years. You would think it is getting a little routine by now.

My other brothers, the new uncles, were overjoyed. Yes, I was excited and happy that my brother and his wonderful wife would know the joys of being a parent. (Special note raising children through the teen years is past for me). In the midst of coast-to-coast calls, emails with one hour old pictures of the baby, I begin to think. As a parent, I never observed all this excitement and energy. Maybe, because I was involved in action. Than I thought how we don't know the excitement of our own birth. We kind of think we were routine when we were born. But, we did generate excitement and happiness at our birth. Sometimes we forget how special we are when we are born.

MFB thanks for the observation. Have a great life...it is a fun ride

Foreshadowing is the technique of using hints or clues to suggest what will happen later in literature, movies and plays. Sometimes life gives us foreshadowing. I just had one of life's foreshadowing occur. I opened an envelope for my high school reunion. The chairman wrote about the Sunday we graduated, June 27th. I did not remember the exact date of our graduation. The foreshadowing is the date. June 27th is the birthday of my daughter. So the happiness of graduating was a foreshadowing of an even more joyous event fourteen years later. Now I will never forget the date of my high school graduation. Who can stand on a stage and imagine exactly how their life will be? So much is out of our control like what a child will be like when they are born. I could never have imagined the joy of this daughter. Actually I could never have imagined the joys of daughters since I had no sisters. The lessons I learned from my daughters are more than I ever learned in high school.

The first time I saw her I fell in love with her dark straight hair and voice. I thought she was the most beautiful miracle God had ever created. Her hair soon fell out. Today, twenty-eight years later, her hair is lighter and curly. The sound of her voice still makes me love her.

Five years ago I gave her away to another man. She is my first child and a wonderful daughter. I don't ever regret giving her to her husband. He is a wonderful man and in a number of ways a better person than I am. I guess I did my job well as a father and a man, because she chose a good husband. He loves her like I did, and he does everything to treat her well.

Actually, I love her more today than that day in the hospital twenty-eight short years ago. She fascinates me with her sense of humor and the way she uses words. She is the one who said I was a Yoda. She listened to those Yoda stories and learned. She has a heart that exceeds her small body. The voice can be much larger than the body, but that is the way she lives life. A friend describes her as 'a chocolate covered espresso bean...sweet on the outside and full of energy." As a baby sitting in the high chair, she would fall asleep into her food. Rooms light up when she walks into them, but libraries would close if she ever stopped reading.

I admire her closeness with her sister. They are best friends. She has helped her mom and me point the way for her sister. She trys the same with the youngest her brother.

She has a talent for making elders comfortable. I think it is the way her eyes grow wide as she listens intently to them. Every time her eyes are wide while I talk I wonder if I am one of those 'old elders'.

On your birthday, Paula, I have a wish for you. I hope when you are a parent you have a child as wonderful as you.

Today, August 7th, is my brother Al's birthday. He is younger than me by 26 months. There is very little I can remember of life without him. It seems he was always in my life and by my side. So much so that he says he did not learn to talk until he was five. If asked his name, he would look at me, and I would answer. We have complementary personalities. He says I was a protective older brother. I don't believe I was as protective as I could have been. I do feel regret about the times I was not. This is not about protecting younger siblings.

Five years ago this coming November Al was operated on for cancer in his left bicep. Cancers of the muscle are very rare. The good news is he did not lose his arm and is in remission. For me, I began to fear I would have to face life without my brother Al.

Al is one of those 'good guys'. He is a rarity among men. He does not hurt others. He built a passive solar home in the Arizona desert. He uses no air conditioning. He is easy going and soft spoken. I can not remember a time he lost his temper. Children love him. He is a great uncle and a great father. I am a more cautious, aggressive and materialistic person. I use Al as an example of how life is when you are a kind and gentle person. I admire him. I hope I never have to live life without my brother Al. I hope the world produces more people like Al. Happy birthday Al and many more.

What if we had a reality TV show called "Survivor Earth" and each country was represented. Would the other countries vote the United States off the earth or would the United States be so good it survived to the end. Where would Greece, Italy, France(don't get me started on the French again), Great Britain, Ethiopia, Turkey etc finish? What basis would the countries use to make their decisions? If you say energy efficiency than we lose immediately. Of course, if Donald Trump had a 'You're Fired' version for countries, the United States might do better. How would countries like New Zealand and Canada fare against Mr. Trump? Where would we all go if we were voted off earth?